March 20th, 2009 
Parker Chuks 
“No one eats candy still wrapped in plastic” is what some young Africans reluctant to use condoms say. Others feel that condoms say “I do not trust you” or even “I do not trust myself”. Suggesting the use of a condom in an already established relationship is just as another way of either confessing that one has been cheating or accusing a partner of cheating.
In fact there are Africans who believe that using a condom during sex does not constitute to having sex at all. “We used a condom” or “it’s not like it was skin to skin” are some of the excuses some partners use to show that they were not “completely” unfaithful. The rationale here is that condoms are largely “the lesser of two evils.”
Then there are young African men and women who believe that “going in live” (sex without a condom) is a badge of bravery. Where being “white” was for many decades of colonial oppression promoted and continues to be promoted as a “good” thing; a mark of higher intelligence, moral superiority, status and privilege, and being “black” and African as “bad”; a sign of diminished intellectual capacity, hereditaty immoral-ness, a position of disadvantage and a curse, these young people are rebelling [a little too late, I have to add] by choosing the ‘bad’ option as a matter of principle. If good white people wear condoms during sex then bad black people will “go in live” as a badge of bravery and honour to their African identity. Not wearing a condom during sex in their twisted thinking means that they are not afraid of what white people are afraid of. They’re therefore braver and more courageous. They are B-a-a-a-d.
It’s good to be proud of our “African sexual prowess” [reality or myth... believe whatever makes you sleep at night], but there is a point at which you must ask yourself, “Is it really worthy it?”
“Creative suffering” sounds brave and courageous but have we Africans ever stopped to think what’ll happen if all the brave and honourable Africans died for no apparent good reason other than proving to “white” people that we are tougher and “badder”? Our people have a saying: “even a crocodile’s back can be cracked by a whip made out of its own skin?”
We’re whipping our own backs to death when even some of our governments still refuse to admit HIV/AIDs is a threat and continue to foot-drag on treatment programmes. Some of us to this day and time still believe that AIDS is a Western plot maliciously cooked up in science labs to try to keep Africans from being sexually active, stop reproduction and eventually come and take over our rich resources and lands. Though fewer than before, some Africans still call AIDS “America’s Intention to Discourage Sex”. All these “conspiracy” theories are causing so much paranoia — and resistance to the use of condoms.
So yes, I fully understand that Africans want to retain some sense of sacredness around sex. And I agree that sex is best “organic” (happens naturally and effortlessly and with all it’s beauty, sense of otherness, surprise, reverence, magic and mystery of life and the infinite world).
I also understand that with our “poverty”, it’s not realistic to tell someone in the heat of the moment, “you must use a condom” and expect him to run to the nearest drug store and come back panting with a packet of condoms in hand. I can see that working perfectly well in the West especially with good branding and marketing tactics. They have the money to spend on condoms!
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